Thanksgiving Week

Becky here checking in again.

Well, its official, Nana doesn’t know who I am. A vast contrast to being the only family member she could consistently identify when she lived in Indy. How do I know? We went over to visit a day last week and Mom asked Nana if she knew who I was. Her response “I am not sure I know which one you are because you have gotten so tall!” (while hugging me). Yes cousins, laugh all you want. Nana thought I, the family dwarf, had grown so much she didn’t recognize me. Her acting skills failed her here.

A few days later we returned to accompany Nana to the holiday celebration. I settled in to my role as one of Nana’s daughters and had a great meal of random conversation. The best topic had to be cancer. Nanas best friend tripped on the carpet on the way in, no major injuries but her shoulder hurt. She continued to complain and Mom went to fetch an icepack. Nana chimed in “if you think there is something wrong, you have to see a doctor. My Lou had cancer on his shoulder. Cancer will kill you and you need to make sure it isn’t cancer!”

Suppressing a laugh, I told Nana that she is in fact correct, Grampa had melanoma removed from his back but her friends pain was because she fell on her shoulder. “Oh, well cancer will still kill you, so be careful”. Thank you for the warning, Nana!

Thanksgiving Day was a whole different experience. After going to my uncles for a big meal, it was my job to go pick up Nana while Dad made her a small meal to have with us since the big crowds have become too much for her. I walked in to Southgate and up to Nana’s apartment. All the lights were on, bathroom fans were going, but no Nana. I checked the showers, bed, closets, still no Nana. I walked out to ask the nursing aides when they saw Nana, and they told me she was just in her apartment. Uhoh. I checked the other common areas of her floor to no avail and headed downstairs to check at the front desk. Nana had been down about an hour ago but she hasn’t seen her since then.

Minor panic begins to set in. I knew Nanas best friend was not there and Nana was MIA from all the places I could come up with. Did she go out a side door to take a walk? Did she leave with someone claiming to be her family? I couldn’t tell my Mom since she was in Boston and I didn’t want to put her in a panic too. Time to call in the troops. The nurse aides started checking door to door, maintenance went on a search at all buildings and I started driving around the neighborhood.

Forty five minutes later, I still didn’t have Nana. I went to sit up in her apartment and hope she returned. A few minutes later I heard dogs coming down the hall. Aha! She must be with the dogs. I looked out in the hall and there she was, walking down the hall with the aides who had a similar face of panic I had.

   Me- Nana, Ive been looking with you for an hour!

   Nana- You have? I was right here.

   Lady with the dogs- You were? She told me she doesn’t have any family that spends the holidays with her. (My heart breaks a little that Nana feels this way)

Now that I had her, we switched shoes and headed to my house. Dinner was ready to go and we sat around the kitchen table. In the middle of dinner Nana asked to call her grandparents to check in for the holidays. Hmmmm I’m not really sure how I can reach them, how do I tell her they died a long time ago. Quick on his feet, Dad simply responded that those who needed to know knew she was there. Phew, good save.

Once it was desert time, Nana was in her element. She wanted apple pie with ice cream. I was sitting at the table with her talking to my aunt and noticed Nana had a spoon. Where did that come from? We only put out forks. Oh, she has the serving spoon from ice cream. I laughed to myself and continued talking to family. Another 5 minutes later I notice the ice cream is missing. Did dad put it away? Nope, there it is, ON NANA’s LAP. Little sneak was eating straight from the jar. Me- Nana, where did you get that ice cream tub? Nana- Hehehe, I don’t know where it came from! Take it from me so I don’t eat it all.

I took the ice cream to place it back in the freezer and got Nana ready to go. We returned to her apartment and she gave me a hug and said thank you for a great day, I love you. Then she asked me if I could take her back to my house, she didn’t want to live at Southgate.

Once Mom got home that night, the decision was made. Nana needed to move to a more secure unit that fit her needs. Memory care units, here we come!