During the summer, Tom and I left the area and we needed someone to take care of Nana's needs: fill the prescription boxes, check in and make sure she was doing OK. I turned to Michelle, one of Ed's best friends and a nursing student at UMass Dartmouth. Not only did she do a great job, but Nana loved the extra attention-- when asked if Michelle was one of her granddaughters, she answered, "No, but the day that I adopted her as one of my own was one of the happiest days of my life"... :)
So when Nana showed some distress in the midafternoons, calling my cell phone 6+ times a day, I turned to hiring another young friend for her. I visited my nurse friends at the local high school and asked for recommendations for an after-school companion for her: someone fun, caring, and willing to walk/bowl/play pool for a couple of hours twice a week. After listening to my request, one of the nurses suggested that her son might be interested. We met, and Sam started last week.
What a score! He is terrific-- so terrific that Nana actually remembered his visit the next day and told the activities director all about him- "Such a nice man, and he was hired just for me!" And the number of phone calls last week? Three. All week. SCORE!!!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Becky's "Adventures"
Nana surprises me every time I see her with her newest adventure as she refers to it. As many of my friends know, every time I go to see her it is guaranteed that I have some story about my day. Here are some of my favorites:
The keys: Nana cannot keep track of keys. Now she hides them throughout her apartment, usually in pants pockets, on drawstrings, inseam, wherever she can hide it from the robbers. Before we moved her out of Indy one of the tasks I had was to empty her safety deposit box. Nana told me that she had all the keys for me when I arrived, I just needed to know which one to use. I walked in to her apartment and found a cookie sheet covered in tin foil with every key she found in her apartment individually taped to the sheet along with a few paper clips. Nana- “Look how I found my keys!”
Why she needs a phone in her bedroom: Nana is a flirt. Even if she doesn’t know, she always has a new “beau” as she calls them. Despite being in her 80s with no memory, she is one hot ticket! One night I went to visit Nana with Elyse and she disconnected her phone in the living room. I found it in her room and asked why it was there. She said that she needed to have a phone in her room. Who needs a phone in their room at night? Unless its for an alarm, no one needs it. I asked why she needed it- “I get phone calls at night!” From who? “All the tall, dark, handsome men that see me and want my number”
Santa: Nana looooves to go out in public any time we are willing to take her (its quite an undertaking!) Every Christmas Eve we go to Oconnors Pub where Nana is guaranteed to get some form of beer, as if she wasn’t already loopy! On our way out of the restaurant, there was a man wearing a red tshirt with a grey beard. He was a bit heavy, but not Santa size. Nana spotted him, reached out, patted his tummy and said “Merry Christmas Santa!” His wife burst out laughing and we ran out as fast as we could.
Kisses for all! This summer Nana upped her flirt to a new level. She has always been loving to her family with lots of hugs, but this summer she has decided it is time to share the love. While there with Anne and Leigh Nana stopped all of the residents, including a poor woman in a wheel chair, telling them how lucky they are and giving a big kiss. To top it all off, we got on the elevator and 2 unassuming workers were already there. Nana looked straight at one of the men and said, “Well, aren’t you going to kiss me?” I really want her in a mask come flu season…
Freckled: In addition to the great doctor stories Mom said below she also was asked about her race. After much thinking, she responded- Freckled! I think Nana just created a new race but looking at our family it certainly fits!
Every visit with Nana has certainly become an adventure, one that puts a smile on my face every time whether she is flashing a pearl ring in my face as an “ugly, cheap thing”, kissing the workers or asking for money to buy new underwear. I can't wait to hear her latest when I am home again in November!
Bex
Friday, September 9, 2011
Busy Summer
Is it really September? Time flies so fast, and I can't believe that it has taken me this long to write about Nana. Thanks so much to everyone who thinks of her regularly and checks this blog. I love to think that I can pass Nana's spirit to so many people. Her short term memory keeps getting worse; but she still manages to touch those around her. I will try to keep more up-to-date. And I will spend this weekend updating you on this Summer's adventures...
We went to the MD in July, and like always, she got a great report. Weight steady, despite many ice creams, and heart rate and blood pressure were stellar. No growth in her blood cells, so her chronic leukemia is also in check. Her only problem was with the memory test...
Doctor: "OK Jane, I'm going to ask you a few questions. Are you ready?"
Nana: "Sure. I hope I'm not going to be graded on my answers!"
Dr: "What month is it?"
N: "Well, I know it's not December." We all smiled at each other.
N: "Because that was last month. It must be January!" Oh boy.
Dr: And what season is it?
Nana looked at her clothes: a summery top and some capris.
N: Um, Winter? Yes, winter. Winter is in January."
Dr: Ok. So where are we right now?
N: What do you mean?
Dr: Where do you live?
N: New York!
Dr: City?
N: New York City!
Oy. At least she didnt say she was a Yankees fan.....
We have adjusted her meds and she is doing a little better with her short term memory. She was able to recount much of her visit with John (her son, my brother) and his family, while she doesn't remember many of her other visits this summer. But day to day, she remains in a happy place. And that is wonderful. Even if it is in New York.... :)
We went to the MD in July, and like always, she got a great report. Weight steady, despite many ice creams, and heart rate and blood pressure were stellar. No growth in her blood cells, so her chronic leukemia is also in check. Her only problem was with the memory test...
Doctor: "OK Jane, I'm going to ask you a few questions. Are you ready?"
Nana: "Sure. I hope I'm not going to be graded on my answers!"
Dr: "What month is it?"
N: "Well, I know it's not December." We all smiled at each other.
N: "Because that was last month. It must be January!" Oh boy.
Dr: And what season is it?
Nana looked at her clothes: a summery top and some capris.
N: Um, Winter? Yes, winter. Winter is in January."
Dr: Ok. So where are we right now?
N: What do you mean?
Dr: Where do you live?
N: New York!
Dr: City?
N: New York City!
Oy. At least she didnt say she was a Yankees fan.....
We have adjusted her meds and she is doing a little better with her short term memory. She was able to recount much of her visit with John (her son, my brother) and his family, while she doesn't remember many of her other visits this summer. But day to day, she remains in a happy place. And that is wonderful. Even if it is in New York.... :)
Monday, June 6, 2011
Another Evening in the ER...
Mom has two favorite expressions right now. The first is "I'm dizzy." This means, "My brain feels scrambled and I am having trouble understanding anything right now." Giving her a job, or just a sense of direction, such as sending her down to lunch or taking a walk with her, usually cures this.
Her second expression is "I have chest pain." This means, "I am feeling very anxious right now." Reassurance, a quick check of vital signs, and a Tylenol usually take care of this. The attendants in assisted living know these tricks, and they are usually quite successful.
Last nite, they reassured her and sent her down to dinner. Nana sat down, looked around the room and said to the manager of the Cafe, "I can't eat. I'm dizzy and I have chest pain." The manager immediately called 911. (No blame to the manager. When someone says something so ominous, that is the correct strategy 95% of the time!)
I was walking the dog on the beach at the time, planning out my next 24 hours... Clean the cottage, go through the fridge, take out the trash and recyclables, start packing for our trip, and then head home around noon on Monday and go see Mom.....when I received the call that she was on her way to the ER. Sigh... Stuff the wet, stinky dog in the back seat of the van, and off to Worcester....
On the way home, I tried calling the hospital to give them a heads up-- Mom sounds very articulate, but she is alert and oriented to self only. But she will charm the crap out of you and you won't even realize that she doesn't know what she is talking about. But Mom is so good at this game that no one calls me back. I arrive at the hospital 90 minutes later, and she is sitting up, smiling at everyone. Hooked up to monitors, her heartrate is 60, oxygenation is 100%, and her blood pressure is 110/60. The doctor comes in when he sees me arrive and says, "She seems ok-- just a few anomalies in her bloodwork." Yea, that would be her leukemia. He looked at me, surprised, and said, "Well that answers a lot of my questions." I then defined her two favorite expressions: "I'm dizzy" and "I'm having chest pain." He remarked,"And that answers my other questions." He smiled, and said that just to be cautious we would need to stay for another 4 hours. I settled in for a bit of a wait.
After the first hour, we looked out in the hallway to see one of my Mom's friends from her assisted living residence. "Rose!" I called and she smiled and waved. She was with her niece, and she had come in with arm pain. Oy. The ER was full, so Rose sat outside Mom's room and the ladies visited. Rose's niece and I decided that if they could have served us a little wine and cheese, this wouldn't be half bad....
We got back at around 11:30pm, and I tucked Mom into bed. I think she enjoyed her little escapade (her only complaint? "There aren't many men around here. Do the men go to another hospital?") Thank goodness that there weren't, or she might have dizziness and chest pain again tonite...
So, a little flip in my schedule (I will be heading back to the beach this morning to finish my chores down there, and I will leave for work from there tomorrow... after I check in with Mom this am...) All's well that ends well...
Her second expression is "I have chest pain." This means, "I am feeling very anxious right now." Reassurance, a quick check of vital signs, and a Tylenol usually take care of this. The attendants in assisted living know these tricks, and they are usually quite successful.
Last nite, they reassured her and sent her down to dinner. Nana sat down, looked around the room and said to the manager of the Cafe, "I can't eat. I'm dizzy and I have chest pain." The manager immediately called 911. (No blame to the manager. When someone says something so ominous, that is the correct strategy 95% of the time!)
I was walking the dog on the beach at the time, planning out my next 24 hours... Clean the cottage, go through the fridge, take out the trash and recyclables, start packing for our trip, and then head home around noon on Monday and go see Mom.....when I received the call that she was on her way to the ER. Sigh... Stuff the wet, stinky dog in the back seat of the van, and off to Worcester....
On the way home, I tried calling the hospital to give them a heads up-- Mom sounds very articulate, but she is alert and oriented to self only. But she will charm the crap out of you and you won't even realize that she doesn't know what she is talking about. But Mom is so good at this game that no one calls me back. I arrive at the hospital 90 minutes later, and she is sitting up, smiling at everyone. Hooked up to monitors, her heartrate is 60, oxygenation is 100%, and her blood pressure is 110/60. The doctor comes in when he sees me arrive and says, "She seems ok-- just a few anomalies in her bloodwork." Yea, that would be her leukemia. He looked at me, surprised, and said, "Well that answers a lot of my questions." I then defined her two favorite expressions: "I'm dizzy" and "I'm having chest pain." He remarked,"And that answers my other questions." He smiled, and said that just to be cautious we would need to stay for another 4 hours. I settled in for a bit of a wait.
After the first hour, we looked out in the hallway to see one of my Mom's friends from her assisted living residence. "Rose!" I called and she smiled and waved. She was with her niece, and she had come in with arm pain. Oy. The ER was full, so Rose sat outside Mom's room and the ladies visited. Rose's niece and I decided that if they could have served us a little wine and cheese, this wouldn't be half bad....
We got back at around 11:30pm, and I tucked Mom into bed. I think she enjoyed her little escapade (her only complaint? "There aren't many men around here. Do the men go to another hospital?") Thank goodness that there weren't, or she might have dizziness and chest pain again tonite...
So, a little flip in my schedule (I will be heading back to the beach this morning to finish my chores down there, and I will leave for work from there tomorrow... after I check in with Mom this am...) All's well that ends well...
Sunday, June 5, 2011
One more overdue post
Sorry to post so many updates on the same day.... I lost my "password" and got a little behind. (OK, I forgot my password. Like most children of Alzheimers patients, I hate to admit to a faulty memory..)
Mom's grandson Ben is getting married in July to the lovely Anna, a woman that I know Nana will adore. Unfortunately, this wedding is in Greenville SC, a distance that is just too far for her. I know her limitations, but I wasn't sure if she would understand our reluctance to have her travel to the wedding.
The invitation arrived, and Nana opened the envelope. She looked at me and said, "Oh. I would LOVE to be there." She hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Will there be family there at the wedding?" I assured her that all the aunts and uncles planned to make the trip with their families. She was relieved by this news. "Then I think that I should stay home. I might be ok, but I also might make a scene, and if I did, I would feel terrible. The attention should always remain on Ben and Anna."
That's my Mom.
Mom's grandson Ben is getting married in July to the lovely Anna, a woman that I know Nana will adore. Unfortunately, this wedding is in Greenville SC, a distance that is just too far for her. I know her limitations, but I wasn't sure if she would understand our reluctance to have her travel to the wedding.
The invitation arrived, and Nana opened the envelope. She looked at me and said, "Oh. I would LOVE to be there." She hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Will there be family there at the wedding?" I assured her that all the aunts and uncles planned to make the trip with their families. She was relieved by this news. "Then I think that I should stay home. I might be ok, but I also might make a scene, and if I did, I would feel terrible. The attention should always remain on Ben and Anna."
That's my Mom.
A bit of Confabulation
I was helping Mom change into a new shirt after her breakfast a few weeks ago (Pancakes and strawberries can make quite a stain), when I noticed a spot on her right shoulder that I had never noticed before. I made an appointment with the dermatologist, and she reluctantly decided to remove some tissue for biopsy. Surprisingly, the biopsy showed melanoma in situ (in other words, early melanoma which has not spread.) She was scheduled for surgery, and the site was removed. For two weeks, a visiting nurse came to change the dressing, and then the stitches were removed.
Having a visiting nurse is not something that she minds. At all. She loves visitors, and enjoys sharing stories. Of course, sometimes these stories get a little convoluted. Sometimes, they are just plain wrong. So, I wasn't too surprised when the nurse asked me outside of Mom's earshot, "Um, this is kind of personal, but.. Did your sister die recently?" Uh, no; all present and accounted for. "Your Mom told me that her daughter Mary died at a young age. But then later in the visit, she looked at another family photo and said, "Wait, there's Mary. She's still alive, and lives down the street, I think." Well, she's healthy. But Virginia is a bit of a distance from Massachusetts.
She has also been killing off my father at an earlier and earlier age. Dad died 12 years ago, 2 days before his 70th birthday. She has been informing everyone that he died at age 43. Hmmm...
But like most of her mixed up stories, there is some truth to them. Dad had a sister Mary Claire, who died when she was 13, and her passing haunted my father and his parents. She was probably thinking of her when she said that her daughter Mary was gone. And as for Dad, they were married for 45 years, a number close to 43-- I think that is why she uses that number as his lifespan.
Stitches are out, but the doc says that she needs a little more work-- the melanoma extended beyond the margins that he removed (it is still "in situ". There is just a few more cells to remove...) We will do that in July. And Mom will once again be able to have a visiting nurse to talk with. I'm looking forward to more fractured family history lessons!
Having a visiting nurse is not something that she minds. At all. She loves visitors, and enjoys sharing stories. Of course, sometimes these stories get a little convoluted. Sometimes, they are just plain wrong. So, I wasn't too surprised when the nurse asked me outside of Mom's earshot, "Um, this is kind of personal, but.. Did your sister die recently?" Uh, no; all present and accounted for. "Your Mom told me that her daughter Mary died at a young age. But then later in the visit, she looked at another family photo and said, "Wait, there's Mary. She's still alive, and lives down the street, I think." Well, she's healthy. But Virginia is a bit of a distance from Massachusetts.
She has also been killing off my father at an earlier and earlier age. Dad died 12 years ago, 2 days before his 70th birthday. She has been informing everyone that he died at age 43. Hmmm...
But like most of her mixed up stories, there is some truth to them. Dad had a sister Mary Claire, who died when she was 13, and her passing haunted my father and his parents. She was probably thinking of her when she said that her daughter Mary was gone. And as for Dad, they were married for 45 years, a number close to 43-- I think that is why she uses that number as his lifespan.
Stitches are out, but the doc says that she needs a little more work-- the melanoma extended beyond the margins that he removed (it is still "in situ". There is just a few more cells to remove...) We will do that in July. And Mom will once again be able to have a visiting nurse to talk with. I'm looking forward to more fractured family history lessons!
Who are you?
It was the Thursday before Memorial Day-- time to take the winter wear out of Nana's closet and bring in the bright, summery clothes for the season ahead. I arrived at 8:30 am with a laundry basket and a large bag of her clothing, timing my visit for when she was usually at church. (I figured that I would get all the clothes in and out of her closet while she was occupied, so that I wouldn't get too much "help"-- haha.)
"Oh, hello." She was sitting in her bedroom, tying her shoes.
"Hi Mom. I have all your summer clothes. Just thought I would switch out your closet and get you ready for Summer."
"Really? It's Summertime?"
"Almost. This is Memorial Day weekend."
"Wow. I didn't know that! Good idea."
"Why don't you go downstairs and have breakfast, and then afterwards, we can go for a walk. I will get your closet done while you are gone."
"That would be lovely. Thank you."
Hmmm.... No suggestion that I join her for breakfast and then she would "help" me? No kiss?
That's when it hit me. She doesn't know who I am. She thinks that I have been hired to take care of her closets! I have always known that this day would come, but it still hurt a bit.
I dragged all her winter clothes out of the closets and stuffed them in the back of our van. I then coordinated all her summer clothes, hopefully making it easier for her to put together an outfit. After about an hour and a half, I heard the front door open. Mom turned towards the bedroom and spotted me coming out of her closet. She threw her arms wide and smiled.
"Nancy, you're here! I'm so glad to see you!"
I got a big hug and kiss. My Mom was back.
"Oh, hello." She was sitting in her bedroom, tying her shoes.
"Hi Mom. I have all your summer clothes. Just thought I would switch out your closet and get you ready for Summer."
"Really? It's Summertime?"
"Almost. This is Memorial Day weekend."
"Wow. I didn't know that! Good idea."
"Why don't you go downstairs and have breakfast, and then afterwards, we can go for a walk. I will get your closet done while you are gone."
"That would be lovely. Thank you."
Hmmm.... No suggestion that I join her for breakfast and then she would "help" me? No kiss?
That's when it hit me. She doesn't know who I am. She thinks that I have been hired to take care of her closets! I have always known that this day would come, but it still hurt a bit.
I dragged all her winter clothes out of the closets and stuffed them in the back of our van. I then coordinated all her summer clothes, hopefully making it easier for her to put together an outfit. After about an hour and a half, I heard the front door open. Mom turned towards the bedroom and spotted me coming out of her closet. She threw her arms wide and smiled.
"Nancy, you're here! I'm so glad to see you!"
I got a big hug and kiss. My Mom was back.
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